In Search of The Big O

I was one of those women that were raised to believe that sex was dirty and bad. My mom really did a number on me.
Plus, my first experience was basically rape.
Two things against me.

I learned about the Big O from playing with a toy at 18.
When I decided to have sex, I enjoyed it, but no O.
The first time I was given oral, bang there it was. Much more intense than I could get by myself. This guy was good.
It is a very hard thing for me. I have NEVER had one by sex alone, no matter what position. I read about women that have O after O while having intercourse.

Even with oral it rarely happens with most of the men I have been with.

Is it my problem? Do others have this problem.
I love Sex, I really love it hard, I scream, I fall off the bed, I just don't cum.

I have learned how to fake it pretty good through the years to appease the guy, but I hate that, I want the real thing. I love sex so much, why can't I just have the O.

My ex could make me cum with oral in about 5 minutes. Of course he had over 20 years to figure me out.

Am I different than other women. Or is this the norm and others fake it?